The Father's Will Fuc* Ya'll

 OK...throw poisoned darts at my open chest cavity heart.  Attach electrodes to my scrotum. OK...don't. Are you an SD sports fan? You know today sucked epic shite. Norv will suck the life out of you and he has. The Bolts had a good plan. But in the 2nd half, they abandoned all. The Padres are in Denver manana, can someone come through? I'm a fuckin' SD sports fan, and it's better than you . Yeah, I'm a loser 2 day. HUGE. I'll be in front of a TV to watch the Padres get some. Get SOME, NOW.

 Sing this:  OK...we are the world, we are the children, we be the fuckahs to make a grey cloudy day so let's start killin', it's a choice were makin', were killin' the SD, Norv and his neck...it's super lizardy. Did that rhyme? I'm so happy right now. It is a normal day in the day late dollar short world we deal with. Least I met some cool for real Phillie fans who got they're way today. In fuckin' Portland. Wherever we live in the USA shit happens and we seem to be in another part of the country from where we broke water. I'm fucked. If you were born in Detroit (congrats Kitna Christian) would you have any love for the SD? No.

 Remember the movie "the Sandlot"? Your Killing Me Smalls! Let's go on You Tube and watch insects or people eat people or insects. I'd rather watch the Chargers look around and point fingers without pointing. My finger points at the guy without clenched teeth. Norv Nosferatu. His fangs sucked the life out of the Raiders. His Gila Monster neck will kill us this year.  I'll get back and write more...us San Diego fans are...is there an us? Yes...there is. Off to the fridge, like pinball in your own house. 

 The Fly's 1998 hit "Got U Where I Want You" blares in my background. And the most snowfall that yr. was done in Mt. Baker WA. The Fly's kicked with alien girl Katie Holmes, and they are from SD. As in Big Mountain, remember them?...turning horrific Peter Frampton tunes into SD reggae gold? U know...on the big charts and the way my mind is workin', cept for "Rocket From the Crypt", and a lil love for the POD, SD music dosen't have an identity...no Philly Soul. No Detroit. Oh, wait MOW TOWN cool. San Diego football week #4...we are 1 and 3. And unidentifiable. No sound. Temporary heart team. I do like the Fly's tune by the by...and the lead sing knows how to surf...very well. Eddie Vedder is from SD.  WAIT..JUST WAIT...come on...you don't remember the band White Lion? Neitherdo I. Or Ugly Kid Joe...who died on a beach like the Chargers today...blow up doll kites in Santa Barbara...fluttering in the breeze. Can you tell I got You Tube now and got rid of the dial up and my season is slow chunkin' so far...as opposed to fast chunkin'.

 I'm gonna go find funny pictures now to put captions on. Fuck you AJ for hiring a Raider. Norv...u suck. Chargers? Sumthins up. And ya'll know it. I just watch and pay. And I make a whole lot less. Not that it matters. Emotional, lost coaches, KC at home? How much more u want? Wow, and I thought we had a 5 year window. Norv...LIFE SUCKER OF CHAMPIONS!

Back to .500?

 Before I write this...and journey back to the city that birthed me. And 1995...oh wait the throwbacks were the entire 1994 season. I made a choice...then. Spending mad $$ and working to serve the rich. Not this weekend. It's the next I go back to SF. This weekend we win...man...I think I'm drunk.

 Here, more sake' fo me. I never care about stats, or history. Time has come today...TIME! No need to run. TIME! 2004...picked for last. 2007 picked for? Iam suffering...I must succeed. I'm 46 yrs old and my own creation that makes me $$ is on a Sunday. Till Helloween. And then there is the Padres. I'm from the listening to Jerry Coleman, then he is mngr, uh...OK, oh I was 11 and it was like 1973.

 As rain falls outside my window in Portland, OR...land of no teams i say this...we are the sleeping giant. Portland? No! You stupid fuck! SD.  And I repeat...we are not 0-3. Every team we have played is 3-0. No excuse.

 Oh snap! Portland got the Davis Cup. I'll be there. U care? I just like tennis and have a past. I played and scooped (yes...scooped balls) for WTT back in the 70's. I have been screamed at for not doing my job when I was a 12 year old volunteer by Davis Cup captain (Dennis Ralston) literally in my face screaming. Oh, you have to blame it on somebody when your good. But I got the job from Rod Laver, by writing a letter. And all us bloggers here, came from your backyard. Noooo, not the Boo Radly yard. Tennis doesn't deserve time on my blog. People used to care. James Blake rawks. Andy will play his best. Support American Tennis!

 I will brag...I have a life. But i sho nuff ain't quittin' u ....wait. I promised peaceful quotations. This week it is KC...and next week the Donks. More to spray...



 

What Does A Packer Do?

 Is a Packer a packer of meat? Packer can be misconstrued. But whatever it is and does the Chargers got packed. And it was painful. It was like watching a prison movie, and we were the prisoner.

 And I only saw the 1st half! I do a Farmer's Mkt on Sundays with my falafel stand. For the 1st time in about 17 yrs I missed part of a game. For $$. I wasn't at Claudia's, I was in Milwaukie, OR. This market goes to late Oct. I will be missing 1 1/2 quarters or so on home games till then. It kills me but the $$ is too good. Oh well, life calls and it needs more $$ to keep up the lifestyle. I won't miss much. Hopefully there will be something to see. It's early. But Norv...freakin' Norv. I tell ya I don't like it. Defense is stagnant. Team is way out of sync. I said I could coach this team to 10 wins, maybe I was wrong. But it is early yet, and I will not push ye proverbial panic button just yet laddies n ladettes.

My style was severely cramped. It is super busy and we are rolling many falafels, no rest for the Charger worker fan. Two guys I met at the bar who were Bolt fans exchanged cellie #'s and that's how I got my updates. Technology is grand, but I was so busy the cell just took messages. I picked up a few hrs after the falafel storm and heard we were punting with 2 mins and change on the clock and were up 21-17 and things were ok. They had to score a TD. I got busy and...SHIT! We lost. The Rivers INT was the dagger. I must admit, the pain of the loss stung less with the $$ I made and not being drunk, and not seeing it happen! It's like we expected greatness without showing it on the field. I'm critical and scare easy but I'm faithful in the "new" Charger way of things. Or is it a new way? Marty for Norv. 12-4 for the Raider debacle dude. Still has a chance, plenty of chances to redeem himself. I'm still positive we will roll W's in 07.

 I can't break down this game from what I saw. But the 1st half was almost unwatchable. I didn't like the bar either, suburbia mini mallish. But I met two Navy (X) guys w/Charger jerseys and they were too cool. Scottie kept me up on the 2nd half on the cell, thanks bud. I can't listen to radio, too distracting when I'm in the falafel zone. Hopefully LT will be in his "falafel zone" against KC. And Rivers will graduate high school QB' ing and get back to the poise of his rookie season. No sophomore jinx Philly boyeeee! My blogs are weak this season due to working on Sunday's and a hugeupswing in business. So sorry for the vague mostly cheerleading tones i have been laying down. Get better after Halloween and I will take back Sunday! As will the Chargers. I'm still optimistic, we have too much talent to maintain this trend.

Post Trumatic Stress Disorder

 So it took me this long to recover from Sunday night. Felt like a target at a shooting range. Two ways to view it. I like my conspiracy theory better, cuz it eases the pain of the beat down. #1 view, we got whupped by a superior team and were totally unprepared and looked kinda high schoolish. This is probably closer to reality than my next theory, #2 view, BChick is the Karl Rove of the NFL and has deeper plants than video cams on the sidelines. Like the MIB's only it's the Patriot CIA. He showed us. He knows whats coming. Uncanny ability to predict what to do at clutch times. Sounds cool but unlikely. Oh well, all past, present and future Pat victories are tainted! When will their "Jose Canseco" come forward and tattle and Bill Chick will shout, "I did not have sex with that woman!" But he did, hoodie wearing, slap on the wrist penalty cheater. Coach Unabomber. Yeah, I'm a sore loser.

 The season is young but the Norv thing is kinda freakin' me out. Philip looked amateurish at times...out of sync as was LT. I started drinking to ferget like an old country song. But I remember looking at the score and they were rolling up points like an old pinball machine. Bells ringing in my head, bats in the belfry. Wuz u tryin' to get crazy with essay? Don't you know I'm loco? I'm loco with doubt. New England and Indy, the cream of the crop. At this early point in the season they are far superior to us. We look poorly coached if there is such a thing. I won't mention Brady, Marcia is still my favorite and most doable of the cast, at least back in '74. The Brady Bunch silly. Not the Pats. Least the Sox are suckin', so that Northeast elitist tude can suck on some curse for awhile.

 There were no turning points so no need to break down the game. We were thoroughly dissected, drawn and quartered. By the Blackwater Security team. Immune to prosecution in your league or a little ceremonial slap on the wrist and a pardon down the road. Enough of the past, like Alberto Gonzalez I don't recollect seeing this game. So on to the next, Green Bay at Lambeau.

 So it's Brett Farve, wasn't he a back up to Bart Starr? His look is a cross between Popeye and George Michael. And he endorses old people products and throws footballs at tires and alligators on his ranch. And he still scares me. If he had any receivers to throw too and a running game. Everyone seems to be laid up. As a long time Charger fan and without looking it up, my mind seems to remember us never playing well against GB regardless of either teams records. I remember being blown out in a couple marquee match ups in the 90's where they just killed us after we were hyped a bit, same old story. LT needs a big game and is due to bust out. Let's see how the secondary handles Favre. He still throws into impossible coverage and the results are not as cool as they once were say 5 yrs ago. The whole dee needs to shore up and be cohesive. A Dubya in GB, NO! Not that blubbering one...a W!

NE, Barry Bonds of the NFL

 If Chicago only had an offense, they might be in the column of W. This game was painful to watch till mid 3rd quarter. It proved a few things to me. #1, we have the ability to win when we play like crap. LT was contained...mostly. But when he was needed, he heeded the call, answered the bell and came out swinging. Oh and the roll out pass to Gates, a thing of beauty.

 #2, can overcome adversity and maintain composure after being blatantly hosed on an offside call at the Bear 2, 2nd and goal. Nat'l TV and everyone in Quaalcom saw it. But...not challenge able. Technicality. That call sucked, to put it bluntly. Lesser teams could let a call like that change the course and momentum of the game. Not the underwhelming Chargers, at least on this day. But they did perform in the clutch and basically dominated the 2nd half.

 SD had a little karma comin'. And it came in the form of of a sky high Scifres punt that bounced off a Bear defender and into the hands of the Chargers. Rumor has it that the punt struck the overhead camera thingy on wires dealy bopper. Cool. This led to our 1st score and ended in a 14-3 win.

 The excuse the Bears gave for having an offense that was in reverse tortoise mode. Watching it was like listening to Leo Sayer's "You Make Me Feel Like Dancing" on a loop while strapped to a gurney w/eyes held open ala Clockwork Orange and forced to view strobed clips of Xanadu. Was it really that bad? YES! The Chargers looked about the same in the 1st half. There is so much more to cover, but I must be brief. This is this falafel maker's last weekend event of the already over summer. I'm busy but I'll come back stronger after the Pat game.

 On to a quick preview of the game of the week, SD @ NE. Now that it's known NE cheats...oh no, not the old hooded sour puss himself...Bill Bellechick...puh leez. Peeps been sayin' it for years, now it's known. Go college on NE, forfeit last weeks game against the Jets. What's next Pats, drone spy planes and wiretapping w/out a warrant to secure victory at all costs? Enough of the CHEATER, tainted are all rings NE earned, steroid Super Bowls. Most likely not, but the nagging doubt remains.

 I'm so busy I can't break it down like I'd like. Cheat or not, we are totally entering hostile territory against our main competition in the AFC besides Indy. This is like fighting the heavyweight champ, you almost have to knock out your opponent to win. Well were superfly TNT muther...! You get the message. It's late, I must sleep. let's see if NE can win w/out our playbook!

Busy Bee (NE Cheats!)

 Wrap of last week's game and a preview of our visit to Watergate...er...Foxboro coming this evening. Cheaters, hand's down. Caught. Well, get ready. LT is gonna pop your headset off. I'm busy doing end of summer fests and battling a passive aggressive/straight aggressive property management conglomerate.Bellechick, unabomber hoodie, low, CHEATER! You should forfeit your game to the Jets, like a college team. Disgusting. Entry coming tonight. CHEATERS!

I Have A Job

 I falafeled at a festival today, as OR proved Michigan sucks!  My summer is over and the $$ has been earned. Let's get to the year. Yeah, the year. The year I could coach the Chargers to 11-5, minimum. Game plan would be, you go long, and you run. Simple. I could draw the offense and defense in the dirt with a stick, my era as a kid, sandlot. It's late and tomorrow we get a "Grossman" kinda day.

 I was kinda thinkin' we whup. I'm not that confident...yet. Da Bears do have some kinda dee. I will be back with a postgame blog tomorrow. I also have a brand spankin' new phat laptop and wireless. All other blogs of the past three yrs were a dial up nightmare. I'll never do a live blog, too into the game to bang keys. And I'd spill beer on it. But if I'd spill beer on it laughing (NOT) at a tired old Jim Rome routine, he'd announce it. of course after e mailing him that he was soooo funny, he made me do it. Ba Ba Booey of sports lameness. Uh, where did that come from? Ya never know here, eh?

 I ask you few readers I have left to check the photo above. Yes, It is I and my Charger falafel cart. OK, I fly a tiny Bolt Flag, nice decal, mini Charger helmet and wear the knit everyday during the season, and or ball cap for remaining hot days, but I yam in Seahawk Jr. country. Like I give a fu%k. I'm gonna do the bleep myself thing this year when I get the urge to profanticate...that's my word. Again...fully not even dude age. Portland is actually awash in Chargermania! Kinda. We be breakin' in a new season at Claudia's so I invite any Bolt fan to show up if your in town and you will be welcomed. Even opposing teams fans, you got someone here somewhere who will love you. It is after all Portland, OR. Even you Raider fans, we have a few left here. Wait, fuck that. Oh...ok...I'm gettin' old. Just be civil while we hoot and vomit on you. Not really. Cuz the OAK games are kinda like a WWE match and we have been written in to sweep your asses again, ez. How does it feel to know, like the Sex Pistols once wailed "God Save Those Queens, The Davis Regime, they made you a moron, Deliver Kif...Gawd SAAAAVVVEEESSS!"

 No Sheee Ite. Happy Opening weekend. To all fans. Ya'll got somebody. From the ZZZZZZZZZZ game in Houston, to the future world champs against last years runner up tomorrow, for which I'm skipping a lucrative event by the way...sacrificin' dollahs for hollahs. Too spice it, the cliche...U ready for some BLEEEP...fuckin' football? Have fun tomorrow and 1/2 of us will be losers. Just for one weekend. CHARGERS will cross over.