Sunday, December 24, 2006

Soaked, Sodden, But Not Downtrodden

 What a funny day. I was saved by security for rooting for my team. Twice. Seattle fans can jump around, but if you do they have "Seattle Therapy" ready, just for you. They are overtly passive aggressive. When it is going well for Seattle, they are allowed to celebrate and jump in the aisles. If your team scores, and there were few for us, guys with mustaches and headsets come up and say, "Uh, we heard (always liked that one) that there was a problem here and we just want to make sure your experience in Seattle is a pleasant one, so just let us know if your OK, oh, and by the way...YOU STARTED IT!

I have been in many stadiums, and witnessed many a battle, coast to coast. I call you out. Your fans give gap teeth and mullets a bad name. Passive aggro pussies. Of course 99% of the Hawk fans were cool...WAY COOL. When the game ended pretty much, an old bearded biker looking dude who had spat at me and taunted left his seat and just pushed (from behind) a young kid (17 yrs old or so) down a row of steps and two rows. I stopped that fuck cold in his tracks. The mustacheioed men returned. Again, they kinda blamed the incident on powder blue in Seahawk world. That old fuck knows, like Arnold in "Commando", I "let him go" They all wanted me to be a witness and shit. Like, I'm at a game. I don't need this. I know that bitch walked. Karma sucks Hawk bathroom bashers. My dick was bigger in the cold than yours. And you peeked at mine. You politically correct wannabes. You grade on effort for the speshul? Right? Well your all tee ball players. Still. And a New York crowd will just kick your ass. Not "tell daddy" and snicker. Sent all you aisle dancers home. When I danced, I was told to stop, so I would be "safe" . Tavern jacket people.

  I will attest to this, Seattle fans always gave us approval. Its that lame kid who makes you all stay after school thing by his behavior syndrome. I will relate one more near death experience, not mine. The 20 yr old punk outside the bathroom. Yeah you. You knew. You mastered one skill, threaten in a crowd in your favor, and your safer. I liked your "you fear nothing and nobody" comment. You white, Dr. Dre (a fine man) wannabes watch too much video and think your dealing with pepper sprayers. I liked how your bud stepped forward (nice dreddylocks) and yelled and postured and pointed. You KNEW I was gonna head butt your honker. Your eyelash (yeah, I notice that shit) fluttered. You was so scared oh fearless one, and not one other spoke up or stepped up in your pathetic attempt at being "street". Oh, and the high fives I got as I exited. Class. I got as much as 22 oz Mickey's at times, but sometimes you still get laid! Consider today an S and M porno I guess. Something good happened, but something hurts. The Seahawks O ring basically.

 Why write about the game, I loved it? I just got back and I'm wet and cold and sleepy. And victorious. A Seattle fan would kick a deformed mongoloid baby (from behind though, why face the baby?) to reroute they're anger. Caused by a diet of government american cheese and christmas coupons for great clips. You sappy, sorry losers. You deserved the last 29 seconds. Shout out to all the cool Sleaze hawks out there. Ya'll is way cool. But that guy and his son who attacked that KC 1st base coach in Chicago a few years back? They done gone West and bred like wabbits. Silly mullet wearing, meth smokin' wabbits. It's over for your whiny, pathetic asses. DONE. Fork AGE.

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