Turner Round?

 Ok, most of the NFL logos were lame and marketing and computer graphics were a little different in the 1960's but the Chiefs logo here is the lamest. It's like a 3rd grader drew it. And the loincloth with KC so prominently displayed, hideous. Tap those red shoes together as many times as you want, you'll still wake up in Kansas. Hopefully the Chiefs will have their head in the sand, but they always seem to save their best effort for us. And we usually don't show up. Yeah, KC isn't very good, but neither are we...yet.

 This is a huge test for us. The Chiefs are weak you say? Maybe. But Arrowhead seems to be SD's personal "Little Shop of Horrors". I will believe much more that this team can have some kind of shot in the playoffs, provided we make them of course, if we fly out of KC with a confidence building road W. The road is where Philip wilts, at least this year. I'm confident the real Slim Shady will stand up. Philip, show some leadership and poise. Guide this powerful destroyer which is the Chargers. Plug in like last week, except do it on the road in very hostile confines. Block out the volume and taunts. I'm trying to believe in you, restore mine, and every Bolt Head's faith. Act like a veteran and play like one. You got all the tool's in the shed, build something dude.


This baby looks worried. Rightfully so. But don't worry little Bolt Baby, everything will be fine. Just hit the Tivo when you gotta hit the can. Wait! Lucky you. You got facilities wrapped around the vitals. Just pop another juice box and let it flow on the couch! Don't worry little guy, Daddy Rivers and Uncle LT promise you a W.


Is Steve DeBerg still playing? HA! Let's hope the Smurf Chiefs show up.

Unlike us, and it is ancient, the Chiefs have a ring. 1970, 1st Super Bowl I ever watched end to end. Tulane Stadium. Let's make some progress toward the ultimate goal, even though currently it seems near impossible and totally improbable. They got to play em to put em in the books, so on paper we still live. We may be a sleeping giant. I'm hopeful.

 We have another Charger enemy in play...COLD. But not too bad, supposedly 40 degrees. We can win in that. Our team clicked last game on both sides of the ball. LT has had some nice runs, but just can't seem to get that game breaker. I am hoping he is in the mix big time and keeps the Chiefs honest. Gates is back in, and Jackson, Chambers, and Buster are showing up to play. The turnover battle is what got us when the Chiefs beat us at home earlier in the season, 4 for us, 2 for them. The O line is allowing the second fewest sacks allowed in the NFL, that will make any QB better.

 Off to freezing falafel land I go, I may add more tonight as I watch our lowly Portland Trailblazers play at Dallas tonight. My Fave team is the Durant led Sonics, lame duck Oklahoman's. I have a fairly (well, it once was) well read Sonics blog and I promised myself I wouldn't add another entry till we won another game. The Sonics are saving me from writing a blog I'm starting to hate. It's hard when your lifelong team, no matter how awful, just bolts to Oklahoma City? Oh well, Chargers...your my #1 always. If you win I'll send you a Vermont Teddy Bear and some chocolates. DO IT TO IT IN KC!

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Bird Is The Word

He's Baaaaaaack! AGates celebrates a 1st quarter TD. Philip and all the receiving corps played well.  Yeah, the Dirty Birds are down this year, but I'll take a W over Appalachian State at this point. We rolled, just like the old days of 2004, 05, and 06. Reminiscent of days gone by, days that may soon return. The jury is still out on this team. But getting hot before the playoffs lately seems to be the key to getting to and winning the big dance. It can still be done. Although NE seems an insurmountable task now, how long till they fall? If not in the regular season, a stumble in the playoffs perhaps. As unlikely as it seems, Philly proved a team with heart and throw down the middle, the Pats can be had on an off day. Like we had last year against NE, an "off" quarter, season over. it can happen to NE, like it has Indy. We can exploit it. My faith is guarded. Let's see how the next few games go. I like being hot going into the playoffs, if it happens. It is better than the pressure of upholding a long streak going into it. So...on to the game.

Philip, ever so mobile, rolls out in the newly installed Charger Wishbone offense. Ok, but he is rolling out.

 Hey Chargerites, Bolt Heads, POWDS! We won a game convincingly. Going away. Never in doubt. Been awhile since you heard those words, eh? Let's get these words back in describing Charger wins. Instead of, clung to, hanging on, etc.

 Norv Turner smiled today, nuff said. To smile he had to shed some lizardy cracked skin and turn the frown upside down. Norv hopefully is molting into a new coach, brimming with confidence. It was fun to see. And I throw out mad props to Da Bears. Thanks Sexy Rexy. The 4th & goal was too cool and suspenseful. Thanks for taking out the Donks. Uh, and in an interdivision showdown I'm actually gonna say, thanks Raidahs. We could have had a glut of mediocrity atop the AFC West standings. Now one improving mediocre team stands alone. And it is the Chargers. Hallelujah!

When done at appropriate times, the sack dance is cool. Although like Chad Johnson, it's tired. And don't do it when your down by three scores with little time left in the 4th quarter. Merriman rocked it yesterday, with 7 tackles. A sack that forced Ravens QB Kyle Boeller to fumble in the 2nd quarter. It produced the 2nd best result, a FG. 12-7 Bolts. The defense put on mad pressure, and many hurries. Merriman streaked across the field to stop Baltimore RB McGahee 4 yds behind the line of scrimmage. An unofficial sack. Phillips preformed well also. A huge 1/2 sack (is that a scrotum with one testicle?) with assist from Ryon Bingham rocked Qualcom. Think Cromartie had an INT reversed by a questionable flag also. Jammer made his presence known.

Hot off the press, Kevin DuBrow (L) of Quiet Riot is found dead in his Las Vegas home this morning. Here pictured with the great future Ozzy guitarist Randy Rhoades(R), who himself was decapitated in some kind of alcohol induced low flying stunt. I must admit the album "Metal Health" with the Slade remake of "Cum On Feel The Noize" brought metal to mainstream and in 1983 metal was like hip hop is now. A little dangerous, ya never knew what a metal show had in store.  I know for a fact, whether he is dead or not, DuBrow was a pompous ass. He put down many in the metal world when Quiet Riot was riding the wave. Calling his band "easily the best in the world", better than Zeppelin...blah, blah, blah. Doing the "pick out the green M & M's" type shit. RIP KDB. Hope you remembered those good times when your life flashed before your eyes. But that last frame of, "Thank you and goodnight Walla Walla!" from a 1/2 empty Sizzler w/a lounge must have been painful. And those awful Rick Jamesesque hair extensions you never paid for I hear. Thanks for one great album. And a moment in time I'll never forget. Even though it kind of ended with the theater marquee sign spelling, "Puppet Show & Quiet Riot".

 KC, you ready?

More news. Tragically Redskins safety Sean Taylor has died from gunshot wounds received in his Miami home during an alleged robbery. Except it seems someone had broken in and left a knife on his bed kinda like a message eight days before. The mystery deepens.

Sean leaves behind a wife and baby daughter. Too sad. RIP Bad To The Bone. The sad is when I went to bed last night ESPN was saying he was responsive and the prognosis wasn't as grim. Life is a trip, but in the end, rich or poor, famous or not, we all is gonna die.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_1

Birds & Bolts Of A Feather

What Baltimore means to me.

 Mr. Tough talkin' Bolts Blogger is currently declawed. Spaded. When I'm not feeling it, the flow is interrupted. The energy field has been corrupted. I could get all hyped about this game. It is important. The game has much meaning. But the Ravens, in our house? Boring. But it's a Charger homer right? We should destroy the dirty birds. Want to hear more old Charger pessimism? Our history against this team recently has sucked. OK, I had to vent old negative ways. I've been Norved! Like a third and one run off tackle to O'Neal. Sweet. Norved again. LT is way due. He has never quite just broken one off this year. Gates? Where is ye? Lost in the Norv mix.

LT, come back. We know it's not your fault. The Police said it best...Synchronicity. We fire that up, LT...and we, be good.

  Where doth the problem lie? Can't tell ya. We still have a good home record. 4-1, and 12 out of the last 13. Look for another W, I call it tamely.  Buster Davis, gettin' mo bettah. He is bustin' one.
BUSTER!!!

 Jyles Tucker, from practice to real. Bet your sky high. Tell Terrell about practice. Or Alan Iverson. Hope you get a huge hit. Make the most of it baybee.

I will not spew on Baltimore fans. This is Sports Steve, a raging Raven fan. Who, like me. Spends alot of time in opposing stadiums. I revel in it. He is like the Mardi Gras Baltimore Mr. T. Baltimore fans bought me many drinks in SF, and were kind. But mean kind, if you get my drift. The women were cool. One licked my face several times. One Crab Cake boy told me, "She always does that" Oh yeah right dude, like that wasn't just for me and I didn't just see her do it to you. Don't ruin it. i'm freakin' Mr. Cosmopolitan! Salud' to the BALTS I met in SF, ya'll was way cool. But harsh reality is upon me and Sunday you all suck just a little. I'll get that 1st round to drown your sorrows. Here is what you would never hear here. I hope I get to buy that 1st round. Peace Baltimore...save the mullets!The fish...I mean.

aoljpictureUpload, aoljpictureUpload_2

Rivers Tosses Cookies

 Nice photo. The new classic bucket, oh the luster is so off the new helmet buzz. We lost to JAX, I'm just getting over it. Relegated to reality. Except even if we win the West  we'll cash out in the 1st round. To even entertain fantasy of this team going on the road and beating NE in Foxboro in the snow be crazy. Or Indy. The ducks were all in a row last year. And like Dennis Green's tirade of a few years ago, the Jags are who they thought we were and we let em off the hook! Not really, they dominated. We somehow got back in it. It was exciting to watch us with the chance to at least tie after playing horribly. I had that gnawing old Charger fan feeling going. We need something to go wrong, right? And it did. Hats off to Garrard, poise. Killed us. Totally outplayed us. I hate writing like this. Mediocre deserves mediocre I guess.

 If you know the movie "This Is Spinal Tap" there is a quote from Derek Smalls, the fu manchued bass player, played by Harry Shearer. He is commenting on the songwriting genius of his bandmates, lead guitar playah Nigel Tufnel, and singer David St. Hubbins. He compares them each to fire and ice. Then he is asked his role in the band, he answers, "I'm somewhere in the middle, sort of like lukewarm water". That is the 2007 Chargers in a nutshell. So that's my Jax game blog...weak. Weak. Weak.

That's The Facts, JAX!

  No trash talkin' till we prove it. Yes, we beat Indy. But we made every play we could in the 4th quarter to give the game back. Our offense is off. Venateri missing a 29 yd chip shot to win in the waning seconds was Charger Jesus intervention.  We had every right to win, then fought for the right to lose! Rivers is on another planet. I have a prediction for this game, we are going to run, ALOT. This is gonna be one tough game I feel. least it won't be snowing. We will basically be in San Diego East this Sunday, so weather will be no factor less it's pouring rain. Then we'll run more. I have one question for Norv, then Philip. Are you going to use Antonio Gates? He is tall and pretty good. Oh, Philip is throwing duck decoys and has no confidence you say? Got it. Believe it too.

 Rumor has it Jax qb David Garrard coming back I hear so they will be on an up for sure. Fred Taylor must be stopped. He has lost a step, but not that much. He just as much run through you as around you. This team just beat Vince Young and the Titans with back up qb David Gray. Usually I'd be talkin' lotsa shite but I have been humbled by the state of our team. An opportunistic defense with many interceptions has helped, especially the LT of the defense, Antonio Cromartie. We have as many total INT's halfway through this season as all of last year. Jax will run also I feel. Maurice Jones-Drew (I love hyphenated names!) is pretty good in his own right. Our dee is overall like 27th ranked! I think if you take out the Minnesota Petersen game, and I bet we are still pretty good against the run. We have talented and motivated players. We need to be cohesive with the talent. Keep up the heat. Freakin' go for the jugular. We played like sh*t against Indy, led 23-7 going into the 4th. That's a glass half empty half full syndrome. We are winning handily at that moment, then just to pieces. Again, the Rivers fumble in the end zone was Garo Yepremian like, or a Dave Krieg. He pulled a Krieg.That put Indy right back in it, and they expended zero energy doing it. And the 2 point conversion, sheesh.

 What Charger team will show? It's hard to tell. I would have to give Jax the edge with the home field. On paper we are superior, then we step on the field with Norv at the helm. Puts fear in me from what I've seen. We could blow this team out if we played some Martyball. Or they could return the favor. Yeah, I wanted Marty out. But unlike an unbending Republican, I can change my opinion. Wish he was here. But as an attached signing statement I'd like to say that even in my wildest nightmares did I think the Bolts would replace him with Norv! I like the guy who wears the emotion on the sleeve, ala Cowher ex coach of the Stillers. You could give Norv a hot foot and he would show no emotion. You could fire up the air raid siren and he'd just look to the sky with a steely stare and wait for the bombs, and show no emotion or heaven forbid...change the outcome. A team can portray the demeanor of they're coach a little...and we are.

Stop Fred, increase chances of winning greatly. Not to jinx, but a man older than St. Nick plays for the Jags, Jon Carney. He has to be my age, like 46, right? Get'em Bolts.

Again...With Love

 I'm still recovering from a Bolt hold on. Things change a lot week to week. Let me drink another PBR. I'll get back to you in a sec. Oh, I'm so back. Nice call Boomer. I don't call games. Nobody does, especially bloggers. I'll take your guess. A gamble is a gamble. Thank you Devo, for the song "Beautiful World", cuz it is today. Was Philip sharp? NOT. So how did it happen? I will listen to the lyrics of "Beautiful World" and figure it out. And kill your Peyton Manning robot. If you stomp your foot one more time, and tell me to stay fat on your pep talk campaign, I dare u to step up. Cuz you tell boys with bellies ur mo bettah? Give up? Nice world we live in. Sell burgers to fat kids? Wait, I got drunk and didn't get it up once. I need a pill. Peyton, your the best. But you suck white boy. Not really. I just hate your commercials. Are you and Eli ever gonna do an ad together or would that be conflict of interest? I hate watching a football game and between plays you see who you are playing against telling you to do stupid shit, or to discount yourself. All for $$. I find it condescending. But then again, I follow the issues. Peyton is a Republican. Jellybean Reagen. Liked your determined look. And it was true. He is a great QB. Today he and the Colts somehow lost to my team. I hear Annie Lennox singing "Here Comes The Rain Again" falling on my head like a memory. Let's speak of true emotion.

 Uh...kickoff. Told ya Sproles would get one. Just a week late. For my call. It was a beauty. Do ya'll realize I drink a bit? I don't care what pansies say about my writings. A bite me is in order. So we got killed by MN last week...does it matter now? Is Adrian Petersen ok? Week to week.

LT, less than part of the reason.

 I saw some plays today...make yo head spin. The TV lies. I thought we developed this technology to solve. Like politics I think some get better than others. Fuck you if you feel otherwise. I like to answer to true soldiers, give them my support. We got Blackwater  indies, and who ya gonna trust? C'mon get me protectors of my freedom. We done never freed up a receiver today. We won without Gates. Cuz Philip can't find him? This was cool. But it was a hang on V. Get out and kick some ass. Yeah Colt fans, and Pat fans too. You may not worry now. But we suck week to week. I fear not a Patriot. Do u want a play by play? Never...EVER will u get it here.

 The last blog I did against the Colts a few years back when we beat them and kept them from going 13-0 I guess was considered epic. By another entity that gave up on true long ago. I never quit on that. Because I am opening a restaurant with people that support me for my success. I'm a Charger die hard, not a stepping stone. People that do it to you, and you wanna give in to them recognize cuz ur life is ordinary. And you go through the drive through. And in the process you'll watch democracy fall. But, dammit, they will make sure you got that drive through. Love China toys. I can't figure out why Fanhouse didn't pick me up. Oh, wait. Once your paid, you can't equate sports to finance, or mention politics.

 But I will mention the tics. Chargers for this week are to be reckoned with. Is it my imagination or is it as technology gets better you can see it right in front of your face. Still the call is wrong. Like this war...wait...occupation. And on to the next. Integrity has been lost and we teach kids how to steal legally. They admire "getting away with it". Oh, yeah, we beat the Colts. Did that get lost somewhere? Did we just have a fire? Wher'd it go? Under a rug. When disaster strikes your neighborhood, hopefully you have a stadium to go to. And Blackwater to take your guns and keep you in line. I love the USA and the Chargers!

The Witch Fire, coming soon to your nation. If the land is low, your stupid for living there. If the ground is dry, your also stupid. So who ya gonna call? Live where the cool people live. If my falafel stand fails, I don't get a bailout. I don't get medical or dental. Yeah, I've seen Spanos in Seattle in a full leather trench coat in 92 when we clinched the AFC West in the Kingdome. Shook Burt Grossman's hand that day. Embroidered on the back of Alex Spanos' jacket was "the Boss". What troubles me is...who is "the Boss?"

In Mourning...

 I realize I'm vacant this week. Lots is happening in the private life. Have something up for the Indy game 2morrow night. I am humbled. To Vikings War Cry blogger, ya'll killed us. I talk a lot of smack. I will take back some. Peterson killed us. Saturday night pregame blog will be done. I think we definitely have more than a chance against Indy. What team is gonna show...be back 2morrow, off to see a great band from Portland OR. Stars of Track & Field, checkem on Youtube. They have been on Conan and toured w/some major bands. They are good. Radiohead meets?

Minneapolis Thunderbolt

  The Chargers go into Sunday's game at Minnesota feeling alot better about themselves and the AFC West title that is theirs for the taking in a suddenly much weaker AFC West Division.  I thought the Vikings would be using the #3 quarterback, but opening day starter Taveres Jackson is back with a bad finger on his throwing hand. Tavares, that was one of those 70's bands that all wore like the same one piece bell bottomed stretchy suits with like sparkly stripes. Hits like "Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel" and "It Only Takes a Minute". Tavares, I hope you are not named after this band. That would suck for your coolness ratio. You are going to be seeing stars and bolts all day. Petersen should be contained by our staunch run defense. The Vikings are good against the run. But LT? Look for us to run early and often. We succeed at that early and establish the run, and Philip can lead a receiver and throw a spiral, the air will be ours too. Yeah, it is in the Vikes Air Bubble Dome sans the Twins Green Trash Bag outfield fence. But that shouldn't make that much of a difference.

 We are finding ourselves and hitting stride as we approach mid season. I feel the Vikings are headed towards a buzz saw in they're own house. After last weeks offense on defense by A Cromartie his confidence as the whole Charger secondary must be cloud 9 high. The Q man is due, Quentin...do the voodoo this Sunday. The Charger defense is getting exciting. Not the best ever, just opportunistic and full of confidence. And we have a Halloween ghoul who can lift your house named Igor, dude. I like our Dee and LT in this game. The keys. Gates will haul 3 long ones w/a TD or 2. Am I getting ahead of myself...a bit? Hey, Denver beat Pittsburgh a few weeks back and looked good doing it. So Minnysoder has a shot as does any NFL team against another on any given day depending. I don't see it. If this was tennis it would be Roger Federer against like, Mardy Fish. Us being Federer of course. Sure, they are on the same court with us...but. Ha, a little no rings Charger snobbery. Let's look into the mystery that is the Vikings.

 This team was like the Buffalo Bills of the 70's! So close, and then crushed in the big ones. The Charger faithful know this feeling once. We got crushed by a 49ers squad in 1995 49-26 I think. The 1st Super Bowl I watched end to end on TV and got it was 1970. KC and MN at Tulane Stadium. And the Vikes were huge favorites. KC won fairly handily despite the score which was like 16-7. Len Dawson and Mike Garrett and Otis Taylor. Poor Fran Tarkenton, I always loved his scrambles though, amazing. Ok, so lets get to the present.

 OK, I'm not namin' names but it's easy. MN is ranked 32nd currently in pass defense. Chambers and Gates. And LT out of the backfield or LT passing. Rivers is gonna be coming around. It doesn't look good for the Vikings defensive backfield. They have a DB named Eric Frampton. Cool. I know it's not Peter Frampton's son but it would be kinda cool if he was, eh? Frampton Comes Alive, at Round Table Pizza in St. Paul, opening for Puppet Show! We gonna embarrass MN like Spinal Tap never finding the stage in Cleveland, OH!

 I also have this strange feeling that Spro Ley is gonna take one to da house. I love that guy. 5'6" and full o speed. If I was Jim Rome Sprol Ley I'd be sending you jungle karma for Sunday. Break one baybee. Here he is breaking one in a preseason game gainst the Rams.

 
Yep, they are everywhere, even in the big SD. Raider esque macho dress up, or is that blow up, dolls. Here is the Land of A 1000 Lakes version. Think he is a vegetarian? This dude exhales Johsonville Brauts! And drinks Schmidt. Or is is a WWE wrestler, the Purple Fabulous Hissy Fitter? You goin' down. Iam rubber you are glue, what I say bounces back to you, who gonna be...Black n Blue!?

Elvis has left the building. Totally unrelated here but here is a great character  that won some old Northstar fans hearts and just recently passed, Gump Worsley. Man I miss the Northstars and the California Golden Seals.

Yeah, I know MN has Adrian...YOOOO Adriaaaaan! I already used that reference once in a legendary blog years ago, but it's soooo ez. One Viking blogger calls Peterson "Purple Jesus", that is cool. So LT is "Powder Blue GOD"? And Turner is "Bolt Moses".

 I don't like to call scores or play fantasy football. I see the Chargers in the 30's and the Vikings in the teens though.

Vikings...there will be ringing in your ears and no one to show you the way. But there is always the prospect of selling guitar lessons on the internet. No disrespect Peter. Had some good times in 1976 when you and the Captain & Tenille poisoned the airwaves. I was rocking Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak".  GO BOLTS!!!
 
 Also I throw out props to Jet Constanza. I think I'm swamped just doing this blog and working, I enjoy it but I feel it's an obligation to me and the few who actually read my writings. I read all the blogs of all pigskinbloggers who still do it. Wish we had a blogger for ALL teams. Or those who don't give but one entry and still appear from like 2004. This place is the real fan, and the politics taught me alot. The true remain. Recruited in 2004 for fun, dumped, and still here, rockin' the netwaves. People who get paid, and accept...can't be honest. U don't like profanity? Change the channel. P Skin bloggers speak they mind. And we all do it in a different way, and it seems most of us are not indie millionaires...yet! That is what is good about this particular football blog site.